Are you not impressed?

Welcome.

Fortune smiles upon you this day, as you are among the first to visit these glorious new Archives Of Veneration — here you will find the collected chronicles and memoirs of Shmool. I believe your colloquial term is bloog. I know nothing of these bloogs, but have conscripted the services of a blooger to make the necessary preparations and arrangements for a worthy tribute to my wisdom and exploits.

I am Shmool. If that name means nothing to you, well, all the more reason for you to explore these archives. It is appropriate that you do so. You will find several months of material have been faithfully transcribed from my current Vox Shmooli on Catster (my respects to the fine and loyal patriots of that excellent forum, and the legion of brethren that commune there!).

If you've come here in search of tales of high adventure and battles joined on blood-soaked fields of glory, I regret to inform you that you'll find none of that here. True, I am a great conquereor, a mighty warrior, and a cunning strategist. But I am also a cat of deliberate action and balanced temperment. I rely on stealth and reconnaissance as much as strength and weaponry. My claws and fangs are formidable, make no mistake — but I am cut from the mold of Sun Tzu, always taking careful measure of my enemy, evading when he is fortified, striking when he is exposed. Watch, and learn.

The general that hearkens to my counsel and acts upon it, will
conquer. ~~ Sun Tzu, The Art Of War

If you've come here looking for comic relief, you best take it elsewhere. These are not laughable matters under discussion here. If you want to waste your time on buffoonery, I give you my idiot brother:

This is Fabio. The photo has not been doctored. He is, indeed, a small island of brain lost in a sea of belly. That he and I are related at all is a sure sign of an ordered balance to the universe. That I have been appointed guardian of the welfare of this gluttonous ignoramus is proof that even the greatest of us is saddled with burdens not of our choosing. No one rides for free. Fabio's warbling nonsense has been documented, for better or worse, in his own bloog, Get In My Belly. I lick my paws of all responsibility for what you may find there.

Fabio looms large in these annals (you see, I am not without a sense of humor hm hm hm) because we have been together from the very beginning. Many others have come and gone — cat and dog and human, robot and rodent and marsupial — but there has always been Fabio. That he has survived for ten years without managing to end up a pancake, tidbit, or footstool is testament to my vigilance and resolve.

Here you will learn of these things, and learn you will from a master.