Chatter and traffic

Attention all paws: Effective immediately, I'm placing the area on Def-Sec Alert, Condition Warble.

There has been a notable increase in fenceline chatter and powerline squawks for several days now — this amplified communications throughput is chaotic but general, and may be indicative of large-scale operations or movements in the region. Heightened vigilance is called for.

• Squirrel activity is up 87% over the last two weeks — possible stockpiling in progress. Action mapping suggests multiple bunkers scattered throughout the area, exact locations undetermined.
• Large-varmint incursions have doubled in frequency — indeterminate scent traces and scat patterns likely indicate multiple nocturnal patrols of two or three boogers, although the possiblity of larger troop movements and campaign-level force distribution cannot be ruled out at this time.
• Aerial traffic is chaotic and uncoordinated — sudden increase in unauthorized flyovers by numerous wing-types suggests a general contest for control of airspace, yet few actual skirmishes have been noted.

Whether this scattered and hectic activity is truly as random as it appears, or is somehow connected in patterns as yet undiscovered, remains at this point unclear. Chatter is the primary concern, and all ears should remain at full swivel and alert for any coded messages piggybacking on the cacophonous tweetery.

On a personal note, I must give the Big Rodent a commendation for effort (if not brains). Eager to please as he is, for two weeks he donned a ludicrous and clearly uncomfortable radar dish in a misguided attempt to convert himself into a mobile listening station.

While this display of vigilance is laudable (though pathetic), what I need from the Rodent at this point is nose-work. Get on those scents and give me a detailed trace of troop movements in the area. Oh yes, and those scat piles they leave behind? Those are evidence. Please stop eating them.

That is all.