Dispatches from the front
05 July 2006 05:40
From: Shmool, CINCCAT Ballard
To: All field commanders and partisans
Re: Cani-Corvine Engagement (on-ground sit.)
***PAWS ONLY***
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04 July 13:00
Shmool HQ
Man, Woman, Rodent have evac'd HQ. Skirmish fire distant but steady to ESE. Crow forces holding position. Fabio eating provisions left by Woman.
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04 July 13:12
Shmool HQ
Provisions exhausted by Fabio.
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04 July 15:15
Shmoolyard
Heavy ordnance explosions E of HQ. Small-arms fire now detectable. Crows have abandoned tertiary outposts and watchtowers and are massing within their strongholds (bearing NE and SW of HQ).
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04 July 17:10
E Fenceline
Large formation of armed crowbots approaching from NW. Appear to be vectoring in on the canine artillery positions to SE. Flightpath will bring them directly over HQ. Relocating to Foxhole Delta.
-------------
04 July 17:16
Foxhole Delta
Crowbot attack subsiding. No direct hits on HQ or within Shmoolyard. Crows now redeploying in small patrols to watchtowers at SE and W. Fenceline no longer tenable.
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04 July 18:00
Shmool HQ
Returned to HQ for dinner hour. No dinner. Fabio appears mortified.
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04 July 18:35
Shmool HQ
Fabio now desperately licking dust from pellet-bowls in futile bid for sustenance.
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04 July 20:05
Shmoolyard
Daylight waning. Increased crow chatter suggests major offensive imminent.
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04 July 21:00
Shmool HQ
Now extremely hungry. Fabio unconscious. Considering eating Fabio.
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04 July 22:05
Shmoolyard
MASSIVE explosions to S, E, and NE. Sky on fire. Total armageddon. Crow forces falling into disarray. Unable to reach HQ. Seeking immediate cover.
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04 July 22:25
Foxhole Delta
Pinned down under tremendous artillery fire from all directions. Air thick with foul smoke, punctuated by hellish flashes of unnatural light. Multitudes of vehicular klaxons now blaring. Dog-barking levels indicate legion-strength commitment. Full-scale canine counterattack under way. Noted crow patrols fleeing to N.
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04 July 22:37
Foxhole Delta
Have discovered that Fabio has been using Foxhole Delta as his latrine. Risking exposure in search of new cover.
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04 July 22:49
Position unknown
Have found impromptu cover in shrubbery some considerable distance N of HQ. Crows now in full retreat to NW, falling back in squadrons in disorderly fashion. Dogs pressing assault from SE. Explosions growing in force and frequency. Possible scorched-earth attack in progress.
-------------
04 July 23:20
Position unknown
Main canine fusillade has ceased. Reduced visibility due to lingering smoke. No crows visible in field. No sign of crowbots, now presumed destroyed by dog flak. Smattering of explosions in distance suggest uncoordinated skirmishes between splinter factions. Otherwise, total canine victory now seems assured.
-------------
05 July 00:11
Position unknown
Cold and hungry. Moving out in search of friendly territory. Unable to ascertain exact position. Battlefield now in chaos and anarchy; cannot risk moving across open ground. Machine-gun and rocketry fire behind me; alarms and flashing strobes ahead. Encountered shell-shocked, bug-eyed cat in adjacent shrub. Was unable to shake him into lucidity. No choice but to leave him behind.
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05 July 01:48
Position unknown
Moving carefully in parallel with a well-traveled arterial, at discrete distance. No familiar landmarks as yet. Have noted several small detachments of loud, drunken humans in the street, armed with rockets and small explosives which they fire with no discernable purpose or target. Most likely looters or anarchists. Prudent to remain hidden and travel only when streets are clear; the atrocities committed against cats by cadres of armed inebriates are infamous.
-------------
05 July 03:30
Position unknown - N of HQ?
Growing colder, and quieter. Safe to move only in small advances, as minor explosions continue to pierce the stillness without warning. And yet, able to detect, faintly, a beacon: Fabio... singing. The plaintive dirge is distant, almost unreadable, but that weird cadence of sour trills and guttural warbles is unmistakable. May be possible to home in on that signal, assuming his foolhardy breaking-of-silence doesn't get him blown up first.
-------------
05 July 05:15
Shmool HQ
Home. Found the fortress still standing and unbreached, Fabio squatting in the yard as if on a picnic. Man, Woman, and Rodent all have returned, and all were aslumber but the Rodent, who hailed my return with hysterical staccato barking. His part in tonight's engagement is unclear, but indications are he found a noncombatant's haven, as he is unsinged and smells vaguely of the Melodious Freckled Lady and watermelon. The Man finally arose to greet me with a modicum of groggy dignity and performed a brief field-medic's inspection. Detailed debriefing and reconnoiter to follow, later. Much later. Now, exhaustion. Shmool signing off.
===DISPATCH ENDS===
From: Shmool, CINCCAT Ballard
To: All field commanders and partisans
Re: Cani-Corvine Engagement (on-ground sit.)
***PAWS ONLY***
-------------
04 July 13:00
Shmool HQ
Man, Woman, Rodent have evac'd HQ. Skirmish fire distant but steady to ESE. Crow forces holding position. Fabio eating provisions left by Woman.
-------------
04 July 13:12
Shmool HQ
Provisions exhausted by Fabio.
-------------
04 July 15:15
Shmoolyard
Heavy ordnance explosions E of HQ. Small-arms fire now detectable. Crows have abandoned tertiary outposts and watchtowers and are massing within their strongholds (bearing NE and SW of HQ).
-------------
04 July 17:10
E Fenceline
Large formation of armed crowbots approaching from NW. Appear to be vectoring in on the canine artillery positions to SE. Flightpath will bring them directly over HQ. Relocating to Foxhole Delta.
-------------
04 July 17:16
Foxhole Delta
Crowbot attack subsiding. No direct hits on HQ or within Shmoolyard. Crows now redeploying in small patrols to watchtowers at SE and W. Fenceline no longer tenable.
-------------
04 July 18:00
Shmool HQ
Returned to HQ for dinner hour. No dinner. Fabio appears mortified.
-------------
04 July 18:35
Shmool HQ
Fabio now desperately licking dust from pellet-bowls in futile bid for sustenance.
-------------
04 July 20:05
Shmoolyard
Daylight waning. Increased crow chatter suggests major offensive imminent.
-------------
04 July 21:00
Shmool HQ
Now extremely hungry. Fabio unconscious. Considering eating Fabio.
-------------
04 July 22:05
Shmoolyard
MASSIVE explosions to S, E, and NE. Sky on fire. Total armageddon. Crow forces falling into disarray. Unable to reach HQ. Seeking immediate cover.
-------------
04 July 22:25
Foxhole Delta
Pinned down under tremendous artillery fire from all directions. Air thick with foul smoke, punctuated by hellish flashes of unnatural light. Multitudes of vehicular klaxons now blaring. Dog-barking levels indicate legion-strength commitment. Full-scale canine counterattack under way. Noted crow patrols fleeing to N.
-------------
04 July 22:37
Foxhole Delta
Have discovered that Fabio has been using Foxhole Delta as his latrine. Risking exposure in search of new cover.
-------------
04 July 22:49
Position unknown
Have found impromptu cover in shrubbery some considerable distance N of HQ. Crows now in full retreat to NW, falling back in squadrons in disorderly fashion. Dogs pressing assault from SE. Explosions growing in force and frequency. Possible scorched-earth attack in progress.
-------------
04 July 23:20
Position unknown
Main canine fusillade has ceased. Reduced visibility due to lingering smoke. No crows visible in field. No sign of crowbots, now presumed destroyed by dog flak. Smattering of explosions in distance suggest uncoordinated skirmishes between splinter factions. Otherwise, total canine victory now seems assured.
-------------
05 July 00:11
Position unknown
Cold and hungry. Moving out in search of friendly territory. Unable to ascertain exact position. Battlefield now in chaos and anarchy; cannot risk moving across open ground. Machine-gun and rocketry fire behind me; alarms and flashing strobes ahead. Encountered shell-shocked, bug-eyed cat in adjacent shrub. Was unable to shake him into lucidity. No choice but to leave him behind.
-------------
05 July 01:48
Position unknown
Moving carefully in parallel with a well-traveled arterial, at discrete distance. No familiar landmarks as yet. Have noted several small detachments of loud, drunken humans in the street, armed with rockets and small explosives which they fire with no discernable purpose or target. Most likely looters or anarchists. Prudent to remain hidden and travel only when streets are clear; the atrocities committed against cats by cadres of armed inebriates are infamous.
-------------
05 July 03:30
Position unknown - N of HQ?
Growing colder, and quieter. Safe to move only in small advances, as minor explosions continue to pierce the stillness without warning. And yet, able to detect, faintly, a beacon: Fabio... singing. The plaintive dirge is distant, almost unreadable, but that weird cadence of sour trills and guttural warbles is unmistakable. May be possible to home in on that signal, assuming his foolhardy breaking-of-silence doesn't get him blown up first.
-------------
05 July 05:15
Shmool HQ
Home. Found the fortress still standing and unbreached, Fabio squatting in the yard as if on a picnic. Man, Woman, and Rodent all have returned, and all were aslumber but the Rodent, who hailed my return with hysterical staccato barking. His part in tonight's engagement is unclear, but indications are he found a noncombatant's haven, as he is unsinged and smells vaguely of the Melodious Freckled Lady and watermelon. The Man finally arose to greet me with a modicum of groggy dignity and performed a brief field-medic's inspection. Detailed debriefing and reconnoiter to follow, later. Much later. Now, exhaustion. Shmool signing off.
===DISPATCH ENDS===
so sayeth Shmool on Wednesday, July 05, 2006
1 Comments:
True brilliance.
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