Uncanny meat
So.
Fabio did eventually return from the mad doctor's lab of horrors, and seemingly unmolested. Still, I maintained a discrete distance and kept a close eye on him for a prudent interval, as I have learned to be wary of appearances, and there's no telling what manner of weird injections he may have received from the macabre Dr. Fingerer.
However, it was the Woman — who incidentally had also been a “guest” of the good doctor — who brought a mystery into the house. She carried with her a large bag, from which she produced a number of small cans. Usually, cans portend delectable fishy meats of great succulence. This time, she scooped from one can a strange mushy meat slurry.
It smelled good. A little too good for my comfort.
She prepared a generous portion of the meatpaste in a dish, and served it to Fabio. Only to Fabio. And... in the bathroom.
Then she added a little of substance to the usual kibble for myself and the Rodent. The dog honked it down in about 2 seconds. I took a long careful look at the bathroom door. My brother was trapped in there with this — thing. The Rodent was already exposed, and trumpeted a deafening belch.
I examined the mystery substance carefully. It resembled no meat I had encountered before. But it smelled damn good. So I sampled a little. OH YES.
It's been six days of this now, and I must make it absolutely clear that at no time have I ingested the full portion of the phantom flesh put before me. That is, I certainly have not taken in as much as the ravenous, crazed Rodent. And there's no telling how much of the stuff the Woman is funneling into my brother behind closed bathroom doors.
Fabio did eventually return from the mad doctor's lab of horrors, and seemingly unmolested. Still, I maintained a discrete distance and kept a close eye on him for a prudent interval, as I have learned to be wary of appearances, and there's no telling what manner of weird injections he may have received from the macabre Dr. Fingerer.
However, it was the Woman — who incidentally had also been a “guest” of the good doctor — who brought a mystery into the house. She carried with her a large bag, from which she produced a number of small cans. Usually, cans portend delectable fishy meats of great succulence. This time, she scooped from one can a strange mushy meat slurry.
It smelled good. A little too good for my comfort.
She prepared a generous portion of the meatpaste in a dish, and served it to Fabio. Only to Fabio. And... in the bathroom.
Then she added a little of substance to the usual kibble for myself and the Rodent. The dog honked it down in about 2 seconds. I took a long careful look at the bathroom door. My brother was trapped in there with this — thing. The Rodent was already exposed, and trumpeted a deafening belch.
I examined the mystery substance carefully. It resembled no meat I had encountered before. But it smelled damn good. So I sampled a little. OH YES.
It's been six days of this now, and I must make it absolutely clear that at no time have I ingested the full portion of the phantom flesh put before me. That is, I certainly have not taken in as much as the ravenous, crazed Rodent. And there's no telling how much of the stuff the Woman is funneling into my brother behind closed bathroom doors.
so sayeth Shmool on Friday, January 13, 2006
1 Comments:
Shmool,
While I do not know the preceise identity of Dr. Fingerer, I would like to point out that my human once patronized the establishment Dr. Fingerer operates out of and he refuses to go there anymore. Apprently there was a man there called "Dr. Nevin," who took over the case of the cat that came before me from another doctor. My human seems to think that this man was not a good doctor, that he made mistakes with my predecessor and then, the ultimate indignity, botched the end-of-days visit. My human has said a number of times that it might have been worthwhile to sue the establishment, but I do not know what that means. I do know that when my human came to take me home for the first time, the lady at the scary place with all the cages asked him if he had a cat doctor and he said not anymore, that he had been going to the place of the bad man, but the bad man was not to be trusted, and the lady said, "Was it Dr. Nevin? Yeah, we've heard of him." I was relieved that my human decided to take me to somebody else instead.
Keep your claws sharp, and watch Fabio for signs of distress.
-Pixel the Cat
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