Deliverance
I am out. Free. Back at my post.
And I must give credit where it's due: it was the Woman who sprung me. The Man helped, but clearly the Woman was the brains behind the elaborate jailbreak.
They must have bribed one of Fingerer's minions, because I saw one of them giving the Woman a lengthy and thorough tutorial on the secret workings of their various tubes and needles. And then, while the Man blabbered away with endless inane questions — a well-timed distraction — I saw the Woman quietly secure several bottles of powders and a large flask of clear liquid. Clever Woman, you've found the antidote!
I was quietly and unceremoniously whisked from my cage into a small transport box. Not the most subtle of smuggling conveyances, but I did my part and lay flat and still. We narrowly dodged disaster on the way out when Doctor Fingerer appeared and blocked our egress. But the Man opened up with a barrage of idiotic queries, and the Woman took advantage of this misdirection to sneak me out of the labs.
It has not been an easy road back. The Woman continues to administer her antidotes daily, and despite the unpleasantness of the process, I cooperate. No price is to high to rid my body of the poisons visited upon me by Doctor Fingerer. And twice daily I am injected with some manner of super-serum that makes me feel once more like the warrior I am.
All that remains now is to find and destroy the labs of Doctor Fingerer, to set free the multitude of cats imprisoned therein, to burn the facility to the ground, and to piss on the ashes.
And I must give credit where it's due: it was the Woman who sprung me. The Man helped, but clearly the Woman was the brains behind the elaborate jailbreak.
They must have bribed one of Fingerer's minions, because I saw one of them giving the Woman a lengthy and thorough tutorial on the secret workings of their various tubes and needles. And then, while the Man blabbered away with endless inane questions — a well-timed distraction — I saw the Woman quietly secure several bottles of powders and a large flask of clear liquid. Clever Woman, you've found the antidote!
I was quietly and unceremoniously whisked from my cage into a small transport box. Not the most subtle of smuggling conveyances, but I did my part and lay flat and still. We narrowly dodged disaster on the way out when Doctor Fingerer appeared and blocked our egress. But the Man opened up with a barrage of idiotic queries, and the Woman took advantage of this misdirection to sneak me out of the labs.
It has not been an easy road back. The Woman continues to administer her antidotes daily, and despite the unpleasantness of the process, I cooperate. No price is to high to rid my body of the poisons visited upon me by Doctor Fingerer. And twice daily I am injected with some manner of super-serum that makes me feel once more like the warrior I am.
All that remains now is to find and destroy the labs of Doctor Fingerer, to set free the multitude of cats imprisoned therein, to burn the facility to the ground, and to piss on the ashes.
so sayeth Shmool on Tuesday, November 20, 2007
1 Comments:
Shmool,
I wholeheartedly support your quest to destroy the labs and facility of Dr. Fingerer. I do not trust the alleged doctors there, particularly the one called "Jeff." He is dangerous in the same way a Bush cabinet secretary is dangerous -- in charge of great power and ill-equipped to use it properly. If, through some horrible happenstance, you find yourself back in the clutches of Fingerer Labs, do your best to be tended to by the females -- I don't trust them either, as they're too close to the other one, but at least they haven't killed any cats that I know of with bad doctoring.
Post a Comment
<< Home