Now I've seen it all

The Man is following the Woman around with a stopwatch. He is apparently timing her burps. He appears to be recording this data for posterity. He is also speaking directly to her abdominal bulb with a whole new level of urgency, fervor, and ebullience.

I think she's had enough of this, because she looks about ready to kill him. I've also noticed some packed bags have been placed by the door.

New life

It has come to my attention (through one of my more reliable sources) that one of the faithful, a certain Ming Ming, has bestowed upon one of her progeny the most hallowed nomen honorificus. A young warrior, new upon the earth but soon and surely destined for great things, now carries the appellation Shmool.

I am told my namesake is not only feisty and well-traveled (ah, to be young and thirsty for adventure), but like me, also black and lacking a functional tail. To which I say: Ostentatious tails are for the weak and the vain; their uncontrolled twitching only betrays the minds of their possessors. A true warrior achieves balance through strength, musculature, and conditioning, not some extraneous pendulating appendage.

I am truly touched by this honor, and give my blessing to the whole of DoubleMing's brood. May they live long and well, and exalt this young Shmool Augustus to the glories his name portends.

And tremble, ye crows and marmots and assorted vermin, at the prospect of a world with TWO Shmools! Tremble and swoon!

On the subject of new life, I must also report that the Woman's bulging rotunda now pulsates and contorts of its own accord. Something, something not of this world, moves within. The clouds gather and the nightmare darkens: It is alive!